Overflowing Cup

Today I, Jennifer, read a post by a youth pastor's wife on her blog (www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com) who said that she struggles to have a cup that overflows. She writes,

"...my cup should always “overflow”. The overflow is the outpouring to others. The full cup is mine and God’s to share. I so often allow myself to “get empty”, have to refuel again, dump it all out and fill up again, dump out, fill up, etc…"

Here is some of my response to her that I thought I would share with everyone:

I see women running around, looking exhausted, having a little bit of a short fuse with their kids, and trying really hard not to show it at all. I grew up with a mom that tried to do everything and please everyone such that her cup was bone dry on occasion. It is because of watching my mom, among other women, living a life so spent they have nothing left for themselves, that I have commmited myself to never having a completely empty cup. There are three main ways that I see being successful for me and for other women in accomplishing this:

1. Keep a Sabbath. It certainly doesn't have to be Sundays! And, it probably shouldn't be if you are a Pastor's wife. Mine is Saturday because that is when my husband is off (most of the time) and when I am not expected to do much for our community. But, maybe for you it could be a Tuesday. All this means is that one day a week, every single week without fail (unless you something catastrophic happens) you do NOT do any WORK for the entire day. If you are a stay at home mom, it doesn't mean you can't play with your kids, but it does mean that you can't work on anything at home. You don't get anything "done" except for resting. On my sabbath, I don't even do the dishes. I truly believe that even if this is the only change a person makes in their lives, they will see improvement everywhere: relationships with kids, husband, colleagues, etc. Trust in the Lord that it will all get done.

2. Say "No" or "Not This Time." I know, I know, this is kind of a "duh." People say this all the time, and it sounds so simple! But, it isn't. One thing that has revolutionized the way that I look at this issue is something Benjer says, "Not all good things to do are necessary to do." Just saying, "no" right now, does not mean that you are saying you won't ever do it in the future. It means that you are looking at all the awesome things in front of you that you could do and saying, there are only a select few that I am going to do. For heavens' sakes, you could be a deaconness, join the choir, volunteer in the nursery, lead a table at MOPS, lead a small group for youth, and run the silent auction, which are all good things! But, you would have nothing left for your family, your self, your God and probably be so exhausted you wouldn't do such a great job at any of them anyway!

3. Stay Connected to the Source of Being Full. Again, this may seem obvious and simple, but it isn't for a lot of people. Staying connected to the Lord looks different for everyone. If you are in a bible study, and therefore in the Word, it may not FILL you the way you need to be filled, because for you, it may be more about pleasing others or doing it "right." Similarly, being in nature may be fun and awesome, but not necessarily bring you closer to connecting with God. Everyone is different and I think that it is important for everyone to figure out what this means. However you seek to be filled, it really has to be about being fed. From my own experience, it can't be something that you simply "got done" for it to fill you. Recently I read Beth Moore say, "You can't have a drive-by relationship wtih God and expect to behold His glory!" So, if it is nature that connects you to God, then be committed to it and go there to BE with Him, not to walk your dog and exercise, etc. If it is really studying the Word, then delve in! But do it to find Him, not find approval from someone else. This is the issue I have had to work on the most: thinking I am pleasing Him and growing with Him because I did something, when really it was all about how I might please someone else.

I hope this is helpful and not too preachy! But, I am telling you, just do the Sabbath. Just try it. Just trust in God that He will provide enough time the rest of the week and you will be filled so much by it. He designed us this way for a reason....

Jennifer

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever. ~Psalm 23:5-6